Tonight was the last time in my life that I'll ever cuddle with a two year old curly-haired blue-eyed little girl of my own. Tomorrow is Marissa's birthday, and she'll be turning three. I can't believe how quickly time is going by. I know it's such a cliche to say it, but they do grow up fast.
I don't know what it is about Marissa turning three, but it seems so significant. Strangely more significant than Bria turning five. I think maybe it's that now Rissa is undeniably out of the baby stage. You can get away with calling a two-year-old a baby, but a three year old? Definitely not. A three year old is a pre-schooler. She's not even a toddler anymore, I don't think. She hasn't toddled for a long time, anyway.
So, tomorrow will be a kind of bitter-sweet day for me. I love my kids' birthdays, but this is one of the ones that will be tough for me as a mommy, which is odd because I don't even want to have another baby. The baby stage was really never my favourite thing. I guess what's bitter about it is the little voice in my head telling me I better wake up and smell the roses or soon the roses will be gone off to college and I'll have missed my chance. Things get so busy, and I feel like I haven't taken every advantage to really appreciate and cherish my time with my kids. I seem to always be sitting at my computer working, or running out the door... and now Marissa is three and I'm wondering where I was when she was two.
When the girls went to bed, just so I could hear her say it one last time, I asked Marissa, "How old are you?"
"Twooooo! And when will I be three?"
"When you wake up, Baby. You'll be three when you wake up."
And I better wake up, too, or I'm going to miss it.